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Summer's Over

Thursday, 20 August 2015

Last Monday ended my seven weeks of heaven( also known as the summer holidays, also known as the busiest seven weeks of my life) and while I'm sad that it's over, this summer has given me a lot to reflect on. I've had my ups and downs as usual, and the downs have been tougher than most but I reckon they'll soon translate into lessons learned. 
"When someone you love becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure"

A few months before the summer, I met this guy who honestly just seemed perfect. He seemed really genuine, and honest, and understanding, and well, I'm not going to lie he was a stunner. So understandably, after spending a weekend with him, I fell head over heels for him, and apparently, he felt the same way about me. 

So we started calling. And I don't just mean 15 minutes on the phone every now and then; I mean every night when I went to bed he'd call about 10-11pm and we would talk until we fell asleep. He broke up with his girlfriend at the time. I fell in love. We exchanged 'I love yous' -the first one I've ever said to someone and meant it. In fact, I would go as far as to say that he. Was. My. First. Love. We promised eachother that after the summer, we would start going out (the organisation we were with had a no-dating-till-after-summer rule)

Yeah, pretty full on right? It seemed magical, like a fairytale. It was wonderful. But then I went on holiday and couldn't contact him for about a month. I missed our late night chats so much. I couldn't wait to be on team with him for a whole week, to have a wonderful reunion. 

That didn't happen. 

Instead, I found out that he had started going back out with his ex girlfriend that apparently he had broken up with because of me. 

At first, I was heartbroken. Why didn't he at least have the decency to tell me?! Then I found out something worse; he had started going out with her again when we were still calling, before my holiday. He had me as his lockscreen, and he was going out with this girl. I thought it was hilarious; how stupid. Then I was annoyed; why hadn't he been honest! I then proceeded to be very, very angry at him. 

Now, I've learnt my lesson. I fell too fast, and I wasn't careful. I hardly knew the guy, yet after two weeks I was in love with him?! I was the silly, stupid one. I know now that just because someone says something a lot, or makes a promise, doesn't mean it's true or that they'll keep it.

However, I haven't given up on love. I still believe that there's someone out there for me. But for now I am left with the memories of the calls, and the things he said to me and our early morning walks. And although the memories are tinted by the things that followed, I will still treasure them in my heart, and remember the good times. 

Besides, it's not about who hurt you and broke you down- it's about who was always there to make you smile.

2 comments:

  1. This is so cute, but also very sad. I don't think that I have experienced true love before, but I will remember to be a bit careful when I think I have. Thanks for sharing, you are very brave to write about this personal thing.

    Love

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  2. Sorry you had such a hurtful experience. Truth is, there will probably be a few more of those over the years. I've had my fair share too. One of things i've learned is that our emotions are so much more powerful than we can comprehend. They can lead us to make all kinds of choices that our rational minds would ordinarily be unlikely to make. When someone has lead you on or deceived you about their availability, you are not at fault for having feelings for them! They are at fault for the deception but I know what it's like to feel really stupid for not seeing it.

    Don't be afraid to love again. You are worthy of someone's time, honesty and respect. Don't be afraid to ask for that. Set the standard. Be wise as a serpent and gentle as a dove. Everybody's heart is precious. Be careful with theirs and be forgiving of yours. x

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