What's so Bad About Being a Stay-At-Home Mum?

Friday, 23 June 2017

So last week I published a lovely little post where I asked the question; "Where do you stand on feminism?". I had so much fun exploring the topic of feminism, and really airing my thoughts on the topic, particularly with reference to relationships (Yes, I've caught the Love Island bug)... and it was so exciting to see the post attract so much attention. It's ended up being one of my most-viewed posts in the last few months, and I'm so glad that it has.

But reading through the comments, I came across something that really made me question my beliefs with regards to the feminist movement. So I want to have a little chat with you today about this comment.

So first off, yes girl it is so so important to bring attention to the inequalities among men and women. As I said in last weeks post, guys do generally have better access to a better quality of living... and that needs to be discussed in order for it to be properly addressed and amended. That's not what I had the 'issue' with.

But is the fact that "We still do way more housework than men" really a problem?

The way I see it, is that the perception that housework is a womans job and responsibility, is a problem. Women doing housework, is not a problem. I believe that the difficulties faced by women trying to succeed in their career because they have 'obligations' in the household are problems. But I do not believe that it is a problem for women (or men) if they don't want to pursue a professional working life and would prefer to be stay-at-home parents who make the meals and clean the house from top to bottom every day.

"Feminism, at its core, advocates freedom of choice"

I don't want to step on anyone's toes, or sound like an 'angry, ranting feminist'... but #futureisfemale is the kind of saying that spurs on the Johnnys' of the world who think that feminism "believes in almost inequality". Can I just point out, that if you are an advocate for women-on-top then you are not a feminist; but a misandrist. So really, when Johnny Mitchell from Love Island said that 'real feminists' believe in preferential treatment of women at the expense of men, he was really just getting mixed up with feminists and misandrists. Fact.

Feminism is not discriminatory, and it doesn't advocate a slope towards any one gender. I really cannot stress enough that it is about equality for all. And a huge part of equality is choice. I am a strong believer that feminism, at its core, advocates freedom of choice for everyone... and that's why I had such an issue with the comment complaining that women do more housework than men.

My Dad works full time in the IT industry, and my Mum is currently a full time primary school assistant. But when my brother and I were younger, my Mum decided to be a stay-at-home Mum, and she looked after my brother and I. She did -and still does- most of the housework, looked after two children, and every now and then she would sell her own paintings online. 

Misogynists would argue that my Mum should never have got a job, and that she should have stayed where she belonged- in the house serving my Dad... and that when I should never have gone to university, and instead should have stayed at home and helped my Mum until I was lucky enough to find a man.

Misandrists would argue that my Dad treated my Mum so unfairly by forcing her to stay at home and be a slave to the house and family- and that instead my Mum should have broke free and become the high achieving woman that she was born to be. That she was better than this life, and better than my Dad.

But feminists would stay no, it's about choice. Who you choose to be, what kind of lifestyle you choose to leave- it's all down to you, regardless of your gender. I believe in a world where people have the freedom to pursue any path they choose- and that world is core in the feminist movement.

Adios, xo

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