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Learning How to Live On My Own

Wednesday, 22 November 2017

 
I've always considered myself to be pretty extremely extroverted.
 
When surrounded by people, I become this bright, bubbly, energised version of myself. Since I can remember, even the most basic form of human interaction has both energized and encouraged me. I love spending time with people.
 
But lately (having moved into my new flat and all) I've been spending more time on my own than ever before...
 


 
I've always been the girl that has multiple different friendship groups, and meets up with people all the time- and nothing has changed. I'm really easily rejuvenated by social interaction; to the point where I can come into my workplace completely exhausted, and leave bouncing off the walls with energy and joy- simply because I've spend five solid hours around people.
 
Because of this, I have made myself the definition of busy. My weekly schedule is like nothing you've ever seen before. On an average weekday, I go to uni, meet up with friends for coffee/lunch, go to work, and then meet up with some more friends. I crave that kind of social interaction; it makes me happy... and who doesn't love being happy?!

The flipside of being so extroverted, is that I have often felt like I can't cope by myself.

Over the summer, when my family was away on holiday, I couldn't even face the thought of spending one night on my own. Every night of my family's absence consisted of me either going over to a friends house/flat in the evening, or inviting a few friends over to keep me company. The one night that I did spend on my own, left me feeling so lonely and upset.
 
I still don't know why exactly, but I felt an intense and constant need to be around people.
 
Even when I moved out, back in August, I stressed to my flatmates that I needed to know when they would and wouldn't be in the flat -especially during the night- so that I could plan around it to make sure that I wouldn't ever be completely alone in the flat.
 
Maybe they didn't understand just how much it affected me, or maybe they just forgot about it... but in the past month, I have spent more nights companionless than otherwise.

And because of that, something I never thought would happen, happened;

I got used to living on my own.

Obviously I've been busy with university, work, and running this blog, and not a single day has went  by where I haven't had any human interaction, but being able to come home to an empty flat and be semi-okay about it, is a pretty big deal to me.
 
Spending so much time on my own has given me a lot of time to think- which has been a blessing and a curse, but it's made me realise a lot about myself. I've become more comfortable in my own company, and I've finally built a relationship with myself. I guess it's important that I get used to being on my own, because I want to be able to be self-sustainable.
 
That's not to say that given the choice, I wouldn't instantly choose to be around the people I love rather than being alone, but I definitely think there's a lot to be learnt from spending time in solitude... and I'm learning.

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