More To Life

Saturday, 6 February 2021

Happy Saturday friends!

Today's post was completely unplanned and unintended. Like seriously, I already had all my posts all scheduled up, in a nice neat 3-month schedule... but if there's anything I learned in 2020 it's that life rarely follows our neat little plans. So no, I didn't plan to write a post for today- but you're getting one anyway. So pour yourself a cup of tea, get comfortable, and click that 'read more' button because trust me you're not going to want to miss out on this post.

Have you ever wanted something so bad that everything else in your life takes a backseat? 

If you're honest (and human), then I'd imagine the answer is probably yes x1000. 

At least, it is for me.

I've lost count of the times that I wanted something so much that it's completely distracted me from the important things in life- whether that's my goals & ambitions, my values, or my loved ones. 9 times out of 10, the things that have distracted me... the things that I wanted so bad that everything else lost priority, weren't even worth it in the end. 

And that's why I wanted to write today's post; because I've figured out how to avoid that ever happening again, and I want to share my secret with you.

For as long as I can remember, all I've wanted was to have the perfect, incredible, and romantic relationship. I read a lot of YA romance novels when I was in school, so I half-blame it on those, but honestly, I need to admit responsibility as well. 

I think when it boils down, most girls just want to be loved... and there's nothing wrong with that, but I didn't just want to be loved. I was was obsessed with being loved. I had to have it, and I had to have it now.

I convinced myself that I would never be happy unless I was in the perfect relationship with the perfect guy. Do you see the flaw in that? See for me, the result of that kind of thinking was a series of seriously flawed decisions. 

At 17 I dove into a relationship with a guy I barely knew, turned my back on God, and deserted my family in the midst of a tragedy when they needed me the most. When that relationship eventually ended (and thank goodness it did), it completely devastated me.

Along the road, I've learned that blindly chasing after romantic love isn't necessarily the best use of my time. There is more to life than that.

I've also learned that the danger of living in a space where you want something so bad that you can't see past it, isn't limited to a yearning for romance. Over the years I've had parallel experiences with all sorts of things; from my academic goals, even to certain friendships. 

The common trend in all of these things is that I mistook my desire for 'X' as something I really needed, when in reality these were just things that I really wanted.

In his book 'Love Does', Bob Goff talks about a similar instance in his life. His words brought me a lot of comfort when I read them:

"In the bible, the people following God had the same problem I did. They swapped the real thing for an image of the real thing. We target the wrong thing and our misdirected life's goal ends up looking like a girl (or in my case, a guy), or a golden calf. All along, what God really wants for us is something much different, something more tailored to us.

Wow, right?

Over the past couple of months, I've come to two conclusions about all of this:

1. Sometimes when we chase after the wrong things, God allows us to do so in order to teach us... but he also gives us the strength to find a way out


2. Maybe instead of chasing after [instert relevant word here], I could spend my time and energy chasing after the God who has already written my story

What do you think?


  1. Everything happens because God allows, an He sometimes allows us to push Him away just for us to see how incapable we are without him, right?

    1. I believe so! It's not always easy to understand God's reasoning, but I know in my experience it has been the times that I have isolated myself from God that have made me realise just how much I really need him

  2. I feel everything in our lives happens for a reason. Whether it is to teach us something or help us towards our life goals. We may not always see it at the time, but as we get older, these things become clearer to see.

    1. I absolutely agree- challenges produce perseverance, after all!

  3. You've made a good point here - one that I believe could apply to any religion (or lack thereof). Instead of focusing on and obsessing over something like finding love from another, why not focus on finding your own self-love and happiness, including your spiritual well-being, whatever that may look like for you.

    1. Hey Britt! That's a really interesting perspective. Personally I think that even if I focus 100% on my own self love and happiness, I'll only end up messing up because my decision making is flawed! When I focus on finding my own self-love, I forget to look out for my friends and end up making choices that are rooted in selfisheness... but when I focus on finding God's will for my life, it ends up not only having a positive impact on my own life, but my ability to love others better too!


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